Category Archives: Prose

To My Daughter

I’m cleaning dried, moldy, blueberry yogurt from the crevice of my thought it was clean refrigerator as I hear you screeching around the corner pushing your doll carriage which tilts to the left because you banged it against the floor constantly and it finally broke as I told you it would and I wonder is it worth it as you pinch the baby’s toes and apologize and say that you didn’t do it on purpose when we both know that you did do it on purpose and the baby howls and I ponder my existence.  The toys, toys, toys, who should have so many toys and I took bags of toys away from you because you didn’t put them away and you didn’t even notice they were gone and I wonder whose life I’m living as you scream for me to go away when I awaken you in the morning and scream for me to go away when I tell you it’s bedtime and I wonder what it’s all about.  But then I see how you’ve grown and smile with thanks as you draw happy pictures of people and the sun and you pause in your fury through the house to say “excuse me” to the dog and pet her as you accidentally tug on her tail.  Yet I cringe as you climb into the baby’s crib with one leg in and one leg out envisioning your fall and broken legs but you tell me it’s only to play the music on the mobile and that you’ll be careful and won’t fall and I wonder how I’ll get through this as your sister giggles and wiggles while you bond and dance in the crib to “It’s a Small World” and you don’t fall and I manage to survive but I feel that I’ve aged.  Through the craziness of the day and the exhaustiveness of your energy I look at you and wonder who you as you kiss me gently on the cheek saying, “I love you up to the sky Mommy” and I’m reminded who you are and why I’m living this life and know how very much it’s worth it.

(c) 1987, 2012 Linda Stone Cohen All Rights Reserved

Remember that no amount of money can purchase grace, wisdom and humility.       Until tomorrow…

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Fuel for the Heart

On this somber day of September 11, it might help to reflect on moments of happiness that have occurred in your life.  Nothing spectacular, just small things that have made you smile or have made you feel good for a few minutes, for a day, or maybe for even longer.  One day last fall, I went for a walk after enduring several days of heavy rain.  It was chilly so I put on sweats.  The sun was bright so I wore sunglasses.  I passed a mailman as he was walking up a driveway and I casually commented that it was nice that the sun had come out.  He agreed and said that it was nice not to be delivering mail in the rain.  As I continued on my way, the young man suddenly called out and asked me if I had been a substitute teacher at the local high school.  I told him yes, in 1996 and then he told me that I had substituted for one of his classes (he graduated in 1997).  I removed my sunglasses, stared at him, and then asked him how on earth he could possibly recognize me fifteen years later wearing sweats and sunglasses?  I did not recognize this man’s face at first but when he told me his name I remembered him.  But I was wearing sweats and sunglasses and no make-up!  I always dressed professionally when I was a substitute and continued to do so when I was hired as a full-time teacher, which made this recognition even more baffling.  We talked for a few more minutes and then I asked him if I had been a good substitute teacher.  Without any hesitation he said, “the best” and then proceeded to explain that on that particular day he had been extremely stressed out.  During the entire day, no one seemed to notice or to care, except me, and that made all the difference in the world to him.  And he kept that in his heart all those years.

And so on this day of remembrance, I will say a prayer for my former students who lost loved ones at the World Trade Center and then I will take a few moments to celebrate other positive influences that I may have unknowingly had on the young lives who honored me so many years ago by having sat in my classroom.  After all, isn’t this how life is supposed to work?

(c) 2012 Linda Stone Cohen All Rights Reserved

Remember that no amount of money can purchase grace, wisdom and humility.        Until tomorrow…

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How Do You Know That a Man Loves You?

 He loves you not because he is supposed to or says it out of habit, but because he really does.  You are not his dream girl or playmate.  “I never thought someone like you would fall for someone like me,” is an unflattering sentiment that fades quickly.  You are his connection in life, not his connection to life.  His life functions well without you which means you do not complete him.  He was a complete person before he met you.  What you do is add joy to his life and that in turn brings you joy.  Joy is simple!  It’s a smile that says I know who you are and am happy about that.  It’s a feeling of closeness when you are in separate rooms.  It is knowing that there is someone to turn to when you are spinning from fear or confusion and that he will be there to catch you if you were to fall.  If he were not there to catch you, you would still land safely.  But joy is a comfort of having a choice to fall into safe arms and rest for a bit and to know that it doesn’t make you weak or insecure.

Being loved is having that joy in life.  It is not having him walk behind you to see if you are going to get there or walk in front of you to lead you where he thinks you ought to go.  He’ll walk beside you to share the journey and realize that’s it’s your choice to step ahead, step back, or stay just where you are as it is his choice to do the same. 

(c) 2012 Linda Stone Cohen All Rights Reserved

Remember that no amount of money can purchase grace, wisdom, and humility.      Until tomorrow…

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The Wrong Season

It is the end of summer, according to the calendar, yet the season begs for untimely attention.  Nature taunts my senses as a cold billow of wind tackles a lingering balmy breeze.  Fall battles for its kingdom as summer succumbs to a false frost that sprinkles the ground like stale confectioners sugar icing on a cookie.  This chill  has crept into my house and has penetrated the insulated wall that has segregated the summer heat.

I walk back outside into the cool air to fetch some leftover winter wood, willing to play nature’s game.  I pick up a log and brush off the spiders and other innocuous vermin that have sought refuge between the cracks.  The insects fall from the log as if swimming from a sinking ship as I bang the wood hard to warn them of their imminent danger.  The insects don’t fight to protect their squatter’s rights, I suppose they know there is safer ground to be sought.  I pick up two logs and lay them on the ground, isolated from the pile.  As I kick the logs to knock off the remaining debris I realize that I have uncovered the worms’ hideout.  The worms squirm and zigzag in a frenzy, panicked as having been discovered.  In my pity for the worms, I return the logs to the pile, lest the worms survive to be bait for the fishermen. 

The logs that I bring inside my house are muddy and damp from the summer rains.  Still determined to make a soothing fire, I place the logs on the andirons.  Adding kindling and twisted newspaper, I light a match and wait for the logs to ignite.  The kindling dances to a strange hissing sound that emanates from the logs as if to laugh at the kindling and recite, “You are confused. We will never burn, we are for the winter, not the summer.  We will never burn, we will never…”  The rod clanks against the metal handled broom that I keep on a nail below the mantle as I retrieve it to stir the failed ashes.  A small spark suddenly erupts to revive the kindling to tease and burn with a fierce determination  to leave its mark before its imminent demise.  I watch the solo dance of the kindling as the logs adamantly deny my whim for a summer fire.  Without further effort towards this ill-fated logic, I return the rod next to the broom that hangs on a nail on the mantle and reach for a blanket to block the cold billow of wind that still embraces the season’s sweet summer.

(c)  2012 Linda Stone Cohen  All Rights Reserved

Remember that no amount of money can purchase grace, wisdom and humility.  Until tomorrow…

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